A Nip From a Nip

My grandmother who is 90 recently underwent a double by-pass and had a valve replaced. They replaced it with a cow valve. At first we thought it was a pig valve but then found out the truth. When I asked her how she was doing she told me she was growing a bunch of nipples. Haha. That inspired me to write this poem for her to cheer her up. It goes like this...

A Nip From A Nip

By Danielle Moreno

Thelma Barlow was a gal

Who had a heart so big

That one day a valve busted out

They replaced it with a pig

The piggy didn’t need it

For he had flown the coop

They took part of the piggys heart

Then used the rest for soup

But then a strange thing happened

Some nipples did appear

But she already had enough

And so she thought it queer

Now what could make a woman

Grow nipples on her chest

Unless the piggy wasn’t a pig

But a cow’d been laid to rest

The doc he did inform her

The fib that had been told

A cow, a pig, a mechanical valve

Or one that’s made of gold.

Well did it really matter

The fabric of her mend

The cow it was his family pet

So that he did defend

With ninety years beneath her belt

Quite clever she’s become

She used her new appendages

When milked they gave out rum

So Thelly she’s a travelin’ bar

Serves rum & Coke & shots

Now I think it is quite a gas

And what are you’re thoughts?